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Now The Spark Has Flown

by Raudie

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1.
Now the spark has flown, A ladybug on my windowsill, On the other side of the glass, She moves but it's not the same. Sharing notes from my phone, 6 years old but somehow new, Sent as screenshots around, The satellites which connect us. Now the spark has flown, Back again to catch my eye Is my will hardened to mush? Or is it an inner conflict? I can feel the gentle slip, Of the thin veil of the day, Seizing confidence given to me, By the shock of a death. When I tap and touch, I don't feel much... It saddens me for it to be like this. Did I lie to myself? Or has time weathered the stone? Which has replaced my heart. A memory which I've buried.
2.
What is love without a body? The words become a warm embrace. My heart goes thud, through the mud of patience. Finding pleasures in the tone. Sweet nothings through the phone. My heart strings sing, When I hear the voice, Reaching into me to pluck a melody, The future will always remain a mystery. A mystery only revealed to me, As with the flow of time which follows, An undefined line, Fine. I’ll just wait a little longer. Spirit tugging at the flesh, The caress of the baroness, Leaves me floating in the tones, Sweet nothings through the phone.
3.
6 Helixes 06:08
6 letters in the name, No intent on snaring prey, I was trapped in the web. Find me in the morning light, Consuming the previous night, I forget to think in retrospect. 6 days of the week, One but left to slowly sleep, The sun traces its way across the sky. Stepping out just to eat, 10 fingers in the street, Bumping into myself to be accosted. 6 messages on the screen, Snake curled around the bird feeder, Sipping Kronenbourgs, sat in a chair. Breaking News: Corpses In The Med, I have too now known 3 people dead, I feel a splinter in my mind. Memories of Rue des Prairies, Coffee with Pam in the record library, Morning song emanating through the speaker. Moments captured to recall, Messages from the stars, to re-live it all, Fooling myself that it might come again. 6 helixes across the face, A Roman bust and a Botticelli fake, Black tassels bedazzle me. A pinch of salt in a sea of pepper, A tender cherub floats from heaven, Above the cutlery on the plate. 6 times I read the page, Coeur de Lion - Ariana Reines, Then I closed my eyes and fell asleep. When I awoke I felt the air, The pillow touching my hair, and the cotton of the sheets on my back. 6th carriage of the train, Travelling south to find a lake, Sharing biscuits across a table. 30-something-degrees outside, No air-con for the ride, Perspiring freely across from you. 29th of the 6th, 2019, gone in a blink, The longest goodbye. Gare Du Nord. A rush from the throat, Latvia in August, An Airbus a380 for myself.
4.
5.
So Long 00:31
So long So long So looooong So, so long So long So long So long So long So, so long
6.
I suspect it deflated, In the past fortnight, While you were distracted, And the planets were turning. Was it foolish to build, Something this tender, From a summer week-end, Which is difficult to remember? When the train turns physical, And I’m dashing the sleepers, I’ve tripped on my engine, And caused it to wince. Obscured by the time, And sculpted by the distance, The audience just some tears, I let fall from my eyes. Symptoms of romance. Symptoms of love. I fear that my sole witness, To a blossoming flower, Killed off by the heat, Will be the salt water. I guess this is the process, A symptom of romance, Which I made too sweet, Now it’s too hard to stomach. When I turn to lay blame, All I’m met with is mirrors. Which are polished so clearly, The reflection is obvious. Like the love that I thought that I could save with a pen, And a handful of sentences, Inked to the page. Symptoms of romance. Symptoms of love.
7.
I’m not a boy yet not a man. I am the sand at the bottleneck of an hour glass. Suspended between two worlds. Almost fastened at the pinch point, restricting me from slipping through, I tell to you, Take me as I come perched on the fulcrum. For a brief moment I imagined my head exploding. I became hot and had to drink water to cool down. Cut me with a miniature dagger a million times, So that when Death arrives I didn’t feel him coming. I’m not a man, I’m not a boy. I’m not sure where I find myself at all. Just carried by the clock. Maybe a mouse in the corridors of time. Perhaps a flea, most likely dust. When I start to rust, Don’t seek me in the market. Let me be witness only to hands striking hours. Fingers touching fingers. The young boy sings, the old men listen. Will I ever get to feel it?
8.
Loser 04:56
Blind as I drift into the future. I can’t see where to go. The wind in my sails blows me no place. No place, no time, no show Loneliness is a friction, 'cos i am all burnt up. And kismet is but a fiction, 'cos I’m straight out of luck. Today, it was a strange day. The sun didn’t rise as per its wont. 24 hours spent in darkness. I’m getting restless. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be a loser sometimes but not all the time. Tomorrow I'd like to be the winner, In the game of life.
9.
It’s not gonna last forever, Because all good things must end. I know that I’m gonna push that rock up that hill, And it’s gonna roll back down, Time and time again. And again I’m gonna be stuck against the incline, On this mountain of love. Deep down I know, that it was I who made you gilded. I placed you up their in the heavens among Venus. Oh dear ladybug, how I do adore you. How I must confess, doors were opened for you. It’s not gonna last forever, (It's not gonna last forever) Because I’ve seen things end before. (Because I’ve seen things end before) I know I’m gonna push that rock up that hill, And it’s gonna rollback down, Time and time again. And again I’m gonna be stuck against the incline, On this mountain of love.
10.
Sunshine 04:40

about

Begin, a spark, ladybug, windowsill, notes app, eye, tap and touch, the ticking clock, somehow new, pleasure, distance, mud, patience, time, mystery, the flow, spirit, the phone, helixes, black tassels, Botticelli, Roman Bust, naïveté, Kronenbourg 1664, splinter, messages, salt, pepper, cherub, train, lake, Latvia, Airbus A380, Gare du Nord, memes, the planets, foolish, tender, summer, tears, romance, love, process, mirrors, blame, reflection, poems, sentences, pen, boy, man, ?, hourglass, exploding, hot, cool, dagger, death, life, the middle part, witness, hands, 10 fingers, hours, minutes, seconds, feel it, loser, blind, future, past, present, loneliness, friction, kismet, fiction, darkness, forever, Sisyphus, stuck, transience, change, constant, gilded, mountains, heavens, Venus, adore, doors opened, end.

credits

released March 2, 2021

All songs written, performed and produced by Raudie McLeod
Using a no-brand electric guitar, Nord Drum 3p, Korg Wavedrum, Shure SM58a, Ableton Live 10 and his voice

Mixing and mastering by Joseph Buchan.

Raudie and Super Utu operate on the stolen lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nations. We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging. Sovereignty was never ceded.

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